Immunity : Unfiltered

Thus concludes the London leg of the Vision: The Musical tour — and what a whirlwind it’s been. London always has a certain theatricality of its own, doesn’t it? A city that teeters between chaos and charm, where even a bus delay can feel Shakespearean if you squint hard enough. I was staying in Woolwich, in a stunning apartment that overlooked the river — picture-perfect, with the kind of view that makes you sigh into your teacup and feel, for a moment, that life is a BBC period drama, or at the very least... an episode of "SPOOKS" showing how over the hill I am now... I am sure... but that series was so good! But being immunocompromised, the London Underground is always a rather perilous ordeal. So I wasn’t about to brave the Tube without an N99 mask firmly affixed. That said, even masked up, the grime and crowds take their toll — so to give my poor lungs and immune system a break, I opted for something far more poetic: the Thames Clippers . And of course, buses... whil...

Why Not make a weekly infusion, into a ritual of care when everything else is falling apart? teehee Right, so let’s start with the unsexy stuff: I’ve had a spirometry test this week, and I’ve got a CT scan booked in for Saturday (yes, tomorrow). That combo has firmly hijacked my week, sent my health anxiety into orbit, and basically left me too frazzled to work. I’ve already had two panic attacks and cried twice today alone — glam, I know. The worst part? I only found out about both appointments a week ago and back in May was told by a different doctor that I was doing really well, and they would see me next after summer... False Hope... Emotional rollercoaster.... No time to process, no room to breathe (ironically), and I’ve had to step back from my self-employed call centre work just to keep up with the appointments and the spiralling. Apparently, some of the respiratory team think I shouldn’t have recovered from that chest infection — “people like you never do!” a nurse said that to...

There are seasons in this life when the body becomes a mystery. When your immune system is as unpredictable as the wind, and your energy wanes without warning, it can feel like you're constantly trying to outrun a storm you didn’t summon. For me, living with CVID (Common Variable Immunodeficiency) has meant learning to anchor myself—not in what I do , but in how I am . Mindfulness, and the sacred daily ritual of gratitude journalling, have not only tethered me to the present but redefined how I experience it. Let me begin with the truth: when I stop journalling, I get ill. It’s not anecdotal—it’s practically diagnostic at this point. When my pages go blank, it’s usually because I’m running on empty, ignoring the subtle nudges from my body and soul until they crescendo into a crash. It's not just a habit. It's my health radar. Each day, I keep a bullet journal—a quiet, powerful container of presence. I write four simple things: One affirmation to set the tone. Today...

Two Weeks on Lockdown (Again) Subtitle: When You Won’t Rest, Your Body Makes the Decision for You Aaaah sh*t here we go again. Same sinus infection, but different antibiotics....this time, they’ve sent me two weeks’ worth— fourteen days of enforced stillness. It feels less like a treatment and more like a sentence. House arrest, if you will, for the crime of living with enthusiasm. Thing is, it's normally a week of antibiotics... pop a few meds, and carry on.. but this one.. well... we tried that approach... and penicillin at 250mg did sweet sod all... I wasn't even going to wait a week I gave it 4 days, I know my body.. If after 2 days I don't feel better I need something stronger...It's just as well I did as now I have something I can't pronounce... for twice as long... and I can't even travel?  Also.... I have been graciously invited to send swabs in for testing..  because of the fevers I have been running. hot then cold, hot then cold, sweaty, twitchy, ...

✨ Uplifting Quote for Today: "Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time." —John Lubbock Slowmornings are real #Luxe and I don't take that stuff for granted...   Also my Mama's Bistro set now that it's been painted after she found it on Facebook Marketplace last year?... A DREAM! Wildflower Honey on toast, to fight hayfever... Frozen Berries from #Aldi Loose Earl Grey tea #Twinings Today I’m grateful. Grateful for a director on Vision: The Musical who actually acknowledged that I’m unwell with a sinus infection, instead of giving me the usual unblinking stare of theatrical denial or binning me off (Which tbf I wouldn't blame them for, I'm average looking, a mediocore dancer and a Mezzo-soprano, so two-a-penny as performers go...)—as if illness is a choice and mucus is a moral failing. I don't know...

aka: Why My Body Might Be Yelling at Me Again I just wrapped up a play. Then I jumped straight into a couple of days on an indie film shoot. And then—because apparently the universe likes dramatic irony—I came home with a raging sinus infection, fever, chills, the kind of cough that makes people recoil like you’re Patient Zero, and vocal cords that have decided to take early retirement. It’s giving: “You’re doing too much.” It’s also giving: “I literally can’t afford to stop.” Classic. Now, I won’t say too much about the shoot. It was decent. I've been very lucky!  The director has a solid eye and a refreshingly unpretentious style. I liked that. But I was thrown in at the last minute, which meant the dynamics with fellow cast members weren’t exactly smooth. Blending was tricky. Let’s leave it there. (What good would it do to dwell, anyway?) So now I’m back in the forest for a little while—home again—antibiotics in tow, hacking like a Victorian poet with consumption and ...