Small Moments of Zen: Finding Stillness Amid Life’s Chaos

Hello, lovelies — Clare Alexandra here.



Lately, life has felt a bit overwhelming — between managing health, doctor appointments, and the endless “ladmin,” it’s easy to lose track of calm. And on top of that, kindness sometimes feels scarce, which only makes things harder. But I’m learning that even small moments of stillness can make a world of difference.

Over the last year, I’ve lost 13 kilos following a mostly plant-based, lazy pescatarian diet. While on pilgrimage in Lourdes, maintaining this was easier thanks to the slower pace. Back home, the old stresses creep in, and my joints still ache, but I notice the pain is less than before, so I’m hopeful. It's still chronic... but it's more of a dull ache than a constant stabbing in my knees and ankles...

I’m working on moving to a GP surgery that better supports holistic care. When trauma has shaped your experience, you only truly understand how deep it runs once you feel genuine kindness — which can feel unfamiliar and hard to accept at first. Sometimes chaos is all we know within certain environments, even if it’s not good for us, making it hard to spot things that are deeply harmful to our general wellbeing... and Like it or not... stress impacting on the body can (and often does) exacerbate chronic illness further, causing things to spiral out of control before the problems reach the surface. It is all too often that the mind and body are treated as separate in every sense, but a holistic approach teaches us that they are in fact... all one system... what affects one can affect general flow of wellbeing.  There is also the elephant in the room, (one which many trauma survivors will be familiar with...) occasional misdemeanours escape attention, we think we deserve nothing better, or harmful events are intermittent enough not to warrant scrutiny often only after a series of unfortunate events does the pattern become clear, nearly always when an outside eye has determined the facts for themselves and laid them bare. The familiar setting of the chaos though, makes it hard to leave. Stillness is so important for critical thinking... 

Finding Peace in the Garden


More BEES Please!

The garden has become a sanctuary for me — a place where the cacophony of everyday life softens into a gentle hum. This late summer, the flowers burst into radiant colour, their petals catching the sunlight as bees flit busily from bloom to bloom. It’s almost a sacred dance, an ancient rhythm inviting me to slow down, breathe deeply, and simply be.



Sometimes on a "Good Spoons day" I'm able to make jam... but I often need some help with this!

There’s a richness in this flourishing life, a quiet reassurance that even amidst our personal storms, nature continues its steady, graceful cycle. The currants, heavy and glistening with dew, remind me of sweetness waiting to be savoured. My mother and I have finally begun making jams and preserves, something we dreamed of last year but only now found the time and calm to embrace. The simple act of turning fruit into jam feels like a humble alchemy, a way to bottle up a little sunshine and share it with loved ones.

Gardening, for me, is a meditation in itself. It demands presence — the attentiveness to tend a seedling, to watch it grow and blossom. It’s in these quiet moments that I find refuge from the rush of “ladmin” and the heaviness of health worries.

French Lavender thrives best in patio environments with good drainage, and Good SUNLIGHT... It's also my FAVOURITE aromatherapy remedy for anxiety and for sleep... simply press some, add it into water. or a carrier oil and spray it onto either yourself... or your pillowcase!



Whether you have a sprawling garden, a modest patio, or even just a sunny windowsill, cultivating your own green sanctuary is possible. Begin with plants that bring you joy or soothe your spirit — perhaps fragrant lavender, cheerful pansies, or sturdy succulents. Invite pollinators with brightly coloured flowers to keep the garden lively and vibrant.

For me, a simple corner with a soft chair or bench, surrounded by gentle greenery, is enough to create a feeling of peace. When my joints allow, I take Jet, our lively Border Collie, to the nearby river. As he splashes joyfully through the water, I sit quietly, letting Tchaikovsky’s melodies carry me to a place of stillness. These small, sacred moments remind me that calm isn’t a distant ideal but a presence we can welcome wherever we are.

Currant and Raspberry Jam Recipe

A little sweetness to share from my garden to yours:

Ingredients:

  • 500g red currants

  • 250g raspberries

  • 600g granulated sugar

  • Juice of half a lemon

Method:

  1. Gently rinse the fruit and place in a large saucepan.

  2. Add sugar and lemon juice, stir to combine.

  3. Let macerate for an hour until juicy.

  4. Bring to a boil, then simmer 10–15 minutes, stirring often.

  5. Test by placing a spoonful on a cold plate — if it wrinkles, it’s ready.

  6. Pour into sterilized jars, seal, and cool.

Community and Quiet Celebrations

Amidst the chaos, community has become an anchor. Recently, we ventured to the village carnival — a rare outing for me, but one that brought unexpected joy. Jet, our Border Collie, entered the Best Sheepdog category. Despite his typical skittishness and occasional running-in-circles routine, he won third place, and even snagged first for the “shiniest coat” — a testament to his frequent river dips.

These small celebrations, the shared smiles and laughter, are reminders that even in struggle, there is light. Walking by the river, when my joints allow....  meditating outdoors, or simply sitting in the garden with a cup of tea has helped me stay grounded, gently reminding me that peace is not far away but close to hand.

How to Create Your Own Beautiful Garden Sanctuary — No Matter the Size

If you’re wondering how to cultivate a garden space that feels both elegant and nurturing, even in a small area, here are my tips:

1. Choose a Place to Sit
A small, tasteful bistro set or a comfortable chair can transform any outdoor or balcony space into a peaceful retreat. Something like the elegant 2-Piece Bistro Set is perfect — compact, chic, and practical for morning tea or journaling.



2. Designate a Meditation Spot
Find a quiet nook — a corner under a tree or a shaded patio — where you can place a cushioned bench or floor cushions. Add calming touches like a delicate small solar-powered fountain from B&Q to create gentle background sounds.



3. Select Plants for Small Spaces
Lavender, rosemary, and thyme are fragrant herbs that thrive in pots, attract bees, and bring calm with their scent. Succulents like echeveria or haworthia add texture without much fuss. Flowers such as pansies, petunias, or crocosmia brighten any corner. For a curated selection, browse your local garden centre or get some succulents like these if you're like me and forget to water things...



4. Build a Rockery or Mini Water Feature
A rockery adds natural texture and depth; a small pond or birdbath invites wildlife and peaceful sounds. Dobbies Garden Centres stock lovely rockery stones and gravel, ideal for DIY projects.



5. Enhance with Patio Supplies
Soft solar lights or lanterns and weatherproof cushions bring warmth and comfort after dusk. B&Q has a wide range of patio lighting options and stylish cushions that last through seasons.




6. Keep It Simple
Remember, your garden sanctuary doesn’t need to be grand — it’s about how it makes you feel. A handful of plants, a cosy seat, and a few thoughtful touches can create a peaceful retreat right outside your door.

Thank you for sharing these moments of stillness with me. Wherever you find your own pockets of zen — be it in a garden nook, a kitchen window, or a quiet breath between the chaos — may they bring you peace.

With warmth and gratitude,
Clare Alexandra

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